One in a Million

For months I have been trying to decide if I want to delete my blog, or what............I just can't seem to find anything I feel like sharing.  Well, today is Dylan's 8th birthday and that deserves some extra attention.  I cannot begin to explain how much I love this kid.  It is overwhelming and magical.  I am so blessed, so proud and so overjoyed to be his mother.  Now, some oldies and some goodies to remember the past eight years. 

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3

I have realized lately that some people take non-confrontational to a whole new level. Guess what, when you care about someone, inevitably an issue will come up now and then. If you don't have the guts to even discuss it you end up losing those relationships over virtually nothing. I do not understand this. In the past few years, I have lost a few friends that I thought were lifers. In both situations I tried to communicate and work out the issues (one didn't have anything to do with me and the other I accepted full blame for to attempt to appease the situation) to no avail.
I don't want to toot my own horn (oh what the hell it is my damn blog and no one even reads it anyway) but I think I am a great friend. Sure since I got married and had a child I don't have as much time to dedicate to my friendships but that should be understood. Basically I think it is your loss if you choose to drop me from your life over an insignificant issue. If you have taken years to develop a friendship with someone and you are willing to throw it away, in my opinion, you are an idiot. Grow up! Accept responsibility for your own shortcomings and forgive others for theirs.
People don't always do and say exactly what you want them to. Trust me. If you expect perfection from your family, your partner, your friends, you better be willing to give it first. In my 33 years, I have yet to meet a perfect person and honestly I am not sure I would want to. In the past few days I have been doing little experiments with people in my life and unfortunately some of them are failing miserably.
Jason says that people expect more from me than they do of most people. He says it is because I am a good person and try so hard to always do the right thing that when I don't put others first it shocks them. (Okay, well at least I know he appreciates me!) In turn, what others do on a regular basis, and is over looked, ends up making me look inadequate. Well sorry y'all (no, I am not going to name any names) but my family comes first. I should come first. I have excused some of you for terrible behavior over and over again and never judged you or held it against you. If you reached out to me, I was there with outstretched arms and open ears. If I did something wrong, I apologized. I apologized for things that I shouldn't have. I tried to be loyal to you at every pass.
It is time for me to start to care less. How do I do that? Not sure. First step is investing my energy in those that reciprocate. So look out for those tests........that is if you still want to be my friend.

Vacation

For the first time in five years, I am taking a full week of vacation beginning next Monday. Due to the holiday for 4th of July, I will be away from my office for 10 full days. I am elated. I am looking forward to spending the first weekend and a few days early in the week just relaxing, spending time with Dylan, and getting to work on some household projects I have been procrastinating on for months (some even years).
After my stay-cation, we will be travelling to Oklahoma to spend July 4th weekend with the family. It will be our first rode trip in the Denali and the first time I have seen my sister-in-law, brothers-in-law and niece and nephew in over a year. I miss them terribly and can't wait to spend a few days sweating together.
Jason and I have been discussing taking an actual vacation in August. Dylan wants to go to the beach, Jason wants to go to Disney World (okay, 'want' may be an overstatement), I want to do anything that is a first for us as a family and either qualify. We have spent the last many years paying off debt and saving up money and haven't travelled much at all. Dylan hasn't been on a plane since he was one. It isn't important where we go, or how far away it is, just being together and making memories.....the good stuff.
I hope everyone reading this is having a good summer and is able to spend quality time with the ones they care about, whether at home or on vacation. Happy Summer Solstice!

Summer, summer, summertime

When I was a kid, I was lucky enough to have two grandmothers that were either retired or available all summer. Or should I say my mom was that lucky. I remember having so much fun with them, swimming, playing games and generally relaxing. It was a nice break from school and a good solution for my care. This being Dylan's first actual summer has presented me with the challenge of figuring out what to do with him all summer long. I don't want him to have to keep a strict schedule. I think summer is a time for taking it easy.
I think he will go to a local daycare for their school age program for most of the summer. It should be fun enough, with field trips, swim lessons and lots of friends to play with. He may attend a half day baseball camp for one week and hopefully we can take a fun family vacation too. I really hope that one of these days I will be in a position to take more time off and spend this special time with him. As for now, I will take advantage of the weekends and days off.
SeaWorld, Schlitterbahn, the lake house, summer reading plan. These are the things we will definitely make time for.
I cannot believe he is finishing up kindergarten and his first baseball season. He is growing up so fast. Maybe this summer will slow the clock down and allow us to absorb every memory, but time seems to keep moving faster. I hope he understands how wonderful this stage of his life is and doesn't rush away his childhood.

Can you read between the lines?

Breaking the monotony with good music.
Organizing the massive mess of paperwork.
Reading press releases and publications.
Emails, emails, emails.
Delegating.

Applying for account numbers.
Time sheet to the 1/10 of an hour.

Wishing the clock would tick a little faster.
Ordering forms, checks and supplies.
Recalculating taxes.
Knowledge I never knew I wanted to know.

Sweet tea, sweet tea, oh how do I love thee?

Sweet tea, sweet tea, you are so good to me.

In a tall glass with vodka and lemonade,

I do believe that my day would be made.

Brewed by the sun or in a microwave dish,

If you offer sweet tea, I'll drink like a fish.

Drinking sweet tea makes me feel like a king,

Sweet tea, sweet tea, what a great Southern thing.

My Life as Carrie

Many, many years ago, my mom and I tried to start a writing club with a few of her friends. We would select a topic and everyone would write a short story or poem or whatever they fancied. We would meet once a month and read aloud to each other and critic. This happened for one month. I am not really sure where it all fell apart.
Writing was always one of my favorite things to do growing up. Once in elementary school we had a writing symposium and took some seminars over the course of two days. At the end we had an assembly. One of the local newscasters MC'ed the final assembly. He had chosen one submission to read aloud to the entire school. It was mine. It was such a great feeling. Then, in a composition class at community college, my professor asked if he could read my paper aloud. He did and he had turned my conclusion into a transparency that he used to show the rest of the class just how it was supposed to be done. Again, it was a great feeling. Both events were slightly embarrassing, but I was proud of myself nonetheless.
The story I wrote for the writing club was about the day my father passed away and all the things that took place that day, physical and emotional. Everyone (all three of them) really liked it. It got me thinking about an idea: to write a collection of short stories about all the wacky things that have happened to me in my life. Some funny, some tragic, some run-of-the-mill. I even created a list of ideas, but never even started.
Again, I find myself contemplating this idea. Don't get me wrong, I am not expecting to get published or anything. Just a way to therapeutically get my creative juices flowing and maybe share them with a few folks. We'll see if I can stick with it this time.